Daddy Where Are You?
by RobynLizzy
Summary: Bella as a young girl is left with her crazed mother after her father left her. when edward comes and recuses her what will she do. ALL HUMAN Stephine Meyer owns ! rated M for lang. and mabye later chapters.
1. Chapter 1 Daddy

I remember it like it was yesterday. The rain was pattering along my window. It felt cold like something was dead, but it was just me. I remember him telling me that he couldn't stay with me anymore his word were like a knife slicing through me. " I can't keep this up anymore bells I'll try to come back but I.. it's just hard." What was so hard. Leaving your daughter with her crazy mother is the worst punishment of all. But bringing her there was even worse. I remember running after your car until you stopped. I remembered the look on your face when you carried me back. I thought that you were going to take me back. But when you put me in her arms I knew that you didn't care you never cared. But who am I to judge the person who is my father.


	2. Chapter 2 Letters

9-8-97 

Daddy, 

I'm 5 years old today. My little brother is now being potty trained. Mommy says your in a far away place but I think she is wrong. Your in my heart. I miss you daddy I hope I can see you soon. 

9-30-00

Happy birthday daddy 

I'm 8 years old now and I still haven't seen you yet. every time I ask about you mommy says you have to explain it. Where are you daddy? I miss you still I hope you have a happy birthday I still miss you.

9-8-01

Daddy 

Today is my birthday and I am 9 years old. I'm in 4th grade. I haven't changed much. My hair is longer and my eyes are still brown. Mommy says that I have your feet and walk but most people think I look like her. Well I don't know if it's true so I want to ask you. Am I like you or mommy? I still miss you. Waiting for you to come and see me again.

9-30-02 

Daddy 

I'm 10 years old already but how old are you? Mommy tells me not to ask people there age but you are my daddy and I can ask you right? Still wishing my candles for you to come home. 

Bella

9-8-03

Daddy 

I'm 11 years old today. I still think about you everyday and night. 

I wish you were here holding me when I cried. I'm in dancing now and mommy said I could give you a picture if we buy one. I think we will but don't tell her that. 

9-8-04

Daddy 

I'm the big 12 this year. I haven't seen you in 7 years. Mommy tells me that I have a baby sister I never had a baby sister before. I have a brother but not a sister. I can't wait to see her but I don't think I will. Mommy won't answer this question so I will ask you. Do you love me daddy? Because I love you. I know I do I pray for you every night to make sure that you are safe. Tell my baby sister I said hi. I hope to see you soon. 

9-30-05

Daddy 

I'm 13 years old. I wanted to see if you are alright. Did the storm hit your house. Well it hit mine. I lost all of the letters in the house and all of the things I wanted to give you. I hope you are all alright. I miss you all and love you. 

Bella

9-8-06

Daddy 

I'm 14 years old now. I still miss you it has been 9 years since I last saw you. I still miss you. Mommy says I have her eyes. Do I have anything of yours? I hope I do that way people can now that I am your daughter. I'm sorry that I missed all of your phone calls, birthdays, and other things. But when I tried to call back no one answer. Do you still love me daddy? Did you ever? I know I love you but I don't think that you know it.

9-8-07

Daddy

I'm 15 now and I'm in 9th grade. I still miss you but I know now that you don't miss me. I will graduate soon and hopefully you will be there cheering with my mommy. Maybe you could bring my sisters to I don't think they will like me very much. I would love to meet you wife. Mommy tells me she is my step mom but I don't care. Well daddy I still love you even though you have caused me pain. But you don't have to love me because other people love me. Goodbye daddy I hope to seen you soon. 

Love Always,

Bella

9-8-08

Daddy

I'm officially 16 now. My sweet sixteen party has past and now I will tell you. Why do you hate me? Why do I see me and you staring at each other with hate in our eyes? I still miss you but why won't to send back any letters. I still love you I will be 17 soon in September. Love you Bella.

BPOV: 

The last letter I wrote was 2 months ago. I am now 17 years old and know one thing is for sure. My dad hates me. He would rather ignore me for 11 years then just say that I don't like you. But deep down inside I still love him.


	3. Chapter 3 Dreams

I woke up like I did every night. Crying and sweating. The reoccurring nightmares were only the beginning of my problems as I grew up. They always started like a fairytale but as I got to the part where I needed him the most he vanished. POOF! He was gone from me. I would run around in a ball gown trying to find him. As I ran I became smaller and smaller and the place I was at would start to turn into the street I lived on. I would always look down no matter how hard I tried, and believe me I tried. And I would see 5 year old me running after a blue corolla. The tears running down my face. In my dream I even had the same clothes on. But this time he didn't stop. He didn't take me back. I kept running until I fell. I fell onto the sidewalk. And at that moment I switched back to my point of view to see you drive away and leave me behind.

I would always wake up alone and afraid that one day I would have no one and turn into a little girl again. I relied on people they gave me hope in this black cloudy sky. They were my beckon of hope.

**As you all no I am 17. This is my story of my life.**

I wanted to think of a good way to start this essay that was due year at the end of January. But I wanted to finish it before then. I wanted people to get to know the real me, but in order for that to happen they have to know everything about me.

**When I was five my father left me. Alone and broken with my mother. I always wondered where he was. Mother told me that it didn't matter. I wrote him letters every year until I forgot to mail him them. I wrote them all on either his birthday or mine thinking it would be the only way to tell him I remembered.**

I crumpled it up into a ball and trough it in the trashcan. This is why I wanted to write it now so that I can finish it before my due date. It always can't be about him. I thought to myself. I got up from my desk and went to take a shower. Supposedly there was going to be some new students that magically had all the same classes as me. Well I have been assigned the task of taking care of them. The one problem, tomorrow was my fathers birthday.


	4. Chapter 4 Happy Birthday Part 1

September 30th was the worst day by far for me. It is my father's birthday and he is turning 34. They had me when I was young. My mother constantly tells me that I was her worst mistake, and believe me she has made a lot of mistakes. Today is my dark day, it's my day of sadness, of depression, and most of all hope. I no it's foolish to hope that he will come back but it is the thing that keeps me from going insane. As I got ready for school, I tried to compose myself.

And believe me it is a really hard thing to. I thought back to when I was little and thought that he would come back. I remember all the times those wishes didn't come true. I remember when I gave up hope to he coming home. But I especially hoped that he would love me. I remembered when I went trough this phase to where I loved to rite poems about my depression. I went to one of my drawers and pulled out one of my favorite poems that I wrote 4 years ago for him.

_**Listen**_

_**No matter what I did.**_

_**I was never good enough.**_

_**No matter what I said.**_

_**You never listened.**_

_**I tried, but failed.**_

_**I stopped to early.**_

_**I was to late.**_

_**I was to sorry.**_

_**I was to wrong,**_

_**To believe that **_

_**you would ever listen.**_

_**It was my biggest wish, but like all wishes they don't come true or is it did**__**. **_

**( A/N: I wrote this poem it is one of my many originals! )**

As I finished reading it like I do every morning, I wiped my tears away. It always got to me like a dog dieing on you, or watching a loved one vanish. Cause that's what he did he vanished out of my life forever. Now all of my love is mixed in with hate. It's too confusing to actually explain, but I feel as if I was to blame.

By the time I was done thinking to myself, I was already at school. I saw two new additions to the school parking lot. A shiny sliver Volvo and a yellow Porsche. I figured there would be just two new students but I am always wrong. There were 3 men and 2 extremely beautiful women. The tallest boy had short dark brown hair and was almost joined at the hip to the blonde girl that could make and supermodel jealous.

By the looks of it I could tell that the big one was a softy and the blonde was a really nice person. I can read people good and by the looks of it there going out. The other blonde male and the short spiked black haired girl look as if they were going out to, but I wasn't really paying any mind to them because there stood the most handsome man I have ever seen.

He was about 6 feet tall and had bronze hair. But his eyes is what drove me in they were crystal clear emeralds. It was like I could take them out of his eyes and put them on my ears and people would stare. I put those thought's on hold for he was looking at me.

I stood there frozen then all of a sudden I was almost knocked down by the pixie like girl.

"I'm sorry." she said as she hopped off of me. "I didn't mean to scare you, it looked like you needed a hug.….. And I just got a little excited."

"Hi I'm Alice." She stuck out her hand as if I were going to take it after that, but me being friendly me I shook her hand. This was going to be the start of a good friendship.


	5. Chapter 5 Happy Birthday Part 2

The rest of the day went by in a blur until around lunch time. I saw sitting enjoying my space by myself. Until suddenly I was interrupted by Alice who sat next to me very loudly. Usually people left me alone on this day. They always knew something was up and left me alone to think and wallow in my pity. But Alice was another thing entirely and I respected that. So far she surpassed all my expectations. And was becoming one of my closest friends.

Rosalie who was always kind of quiet towards me, showed her true side today. And believe me when I say do not get on her bad side. She was becoming like and older sister to me. I always needed one but never had the chance to actually find someone that trusting. I knew we were going to get along great.

Emmett I think will become one of the not many people that I will confine in when I need someone to talk to. Even tough he is a intimidating person he really is a big softy like I predicted.

Jasper shares my passion for reading tough he likes books on the civil war and things like that. I tried to get him to read something other than that shit that he is reading, but he wouldn't. He insisted that the crap that I read is to romantic for him and that he loves history and all of the other junk that I suck at.

Edward I think is the most kind. Even though he has not spoken much to me I know that he truly cares for me and my welfare. I think that he will be one of the first people I look to for advise on how to live my life.

I should try to be more out going than i used to be. I should try to forget all that we had in the time that he was there. I remembered when we used to go swimming in the pool outside, how he would hold me because I didn't know how to swim. Just how he handled me gave me enough proof that he cared. Before I knew what was happening I was crying silent tears, those were the worst. They hurt the most because they want to make you sob until you can't cry anymore. I heard a familiar voice speak my name. " Bella what's wrong?" By then I was already crying my eyes out sobbing out of control.

I got up and ran. I ran from my pain, myself, my mind, and into two big strong arms. I cried because of him not being there, not caring if I was alive or dead, not ever saying I love you, not being there for my birthdays, my life, my happiness, and for most of all not hearing how much I loved him. I cried for all of these things and more.

The hands on my back kept rubbed soothing circles calming me. As one of the last tears slid down my cheek. I looked up into Edwards deep green eyes. Oh God. I thought in my head. What have I done. He didn't need to know what was wrong. He didn't have to feel sorry for me. I feel sorry enough for myself.

So I ran outside to my truck. I locked the door and set myself into my seat. As the rain poured harder than usual, I thought back to that day. I remembered the address. So why shouldn't I go see how it is doing. I started the engine, as it roared to life I got more courage to face it. I drove own the familiar street. My mother gave me a key when she finally deiced to tell me that he still owned the house.

The house was exactly how I remembered it from when I was little. As I got to the door I noticed that even the paint was still the same color. I opened the door and a bunch of hot dusty air hit me. I left the door open if in case I end up not being able to handle all the dust.

I walked up those familiar stairs into my room. It was exactly the same from the last time I saw here. My clothes spread out on the floor as I hurried to pack all of them before we left. My bed unmade because no one ever came back to do it. All of my stuffed animals that were in my corner were thrown across my room in attempt to get to my favorite one. But the only thing different was that on my desk. Where I spent most of my time writing stories.

There were all of my letters. Opened, out there for someone to see. I thought I lost all of them years ago when I couldn't find them anymore. Apparently they were all here. Each of them like a slap in the face. A serious reality check. Like getting stabbed with every word. Like reliving every memory where they all made you cry. Seeing through someone else eyes your pain and going through it at the same time. Being completely helpless. So young and innocent. So fragile and small.

I saw it all again and again. I relived it all again. Who had my letters? Ran through my brain. It made the gears turn. Why did they have my letters? Came across my head. "Is this the way I should be punished?" I whispered to myself.

"Should I deserve this?" I screamed. I went to lay on my bed to broken to speak anymore. To helpless to even fight the darkness that closed me in.

The last thing I heard before I fell unconscious was my name.

"Bella?" it said.

"Wake up."

I murmured I unintelligible "ummmm…"

"She's awake!" the voice sounded a lot like Alice.

"Leave her alone Alice she needs time to wake up." Strange the voices sounded like they were aguing.

And then I woke up with a jolt. This is not my house. Well it used to be. My letters they were on my desk all open. They weren't open when I went to sleep. So someone read my letters. Great just Great I thought to myself. Everyone knew there was something wrong with me now all of this just confirms it. But who had read my letters. I looked around my room and stopped right at my rocking chair.

In it was Edward and it looked like he was sleeping. I decided to get up but me being myself I fell. Edward woke up surprised. "Bella I thought that you would never wake up." He spoke as he came to give me a hug. Wait why is he here I thought. "Edward what are you doing here." I asked in all of my confusion.

"I followed you in my car, and I saw you walk into this house, then I watched as you walked up the stairs. After I saw you read those letters then you started sobbing and I thought that I should let you be. But then you went to that bed and just collapsed." I stared at him in shock. "Then I tried to wake you up but you wouldn't then I called Alice and she came over, but she wasn't any help so I made her leave."

So those were the voices I heard I thought to myself.

"Edward I hate to ask you this but did you read those letters?" I was hoping that he didn't on the inside. But that doesn't come true either. "Yes." he answered hesitantly.

I stared at his in horror. Never in my life was I so furious with myself for letting this happen. He read my letters. My personal words that were only meant for my father to read. "Why did you read those letters?" No answer.

"Tell me why you did it." I was becoming angrier by the second.

"I read them because I wanted to see why they would upset you." He said it so fast that I thought that I heard him wrong. I sighed, I might as well tell him he knows almost all of it already. It might be hard but I think that I can handle it. "I suppose you have some questions upon what you read." I asked. "Yes. But I don't want you to get upset." He answered kind of hurried, like he was afraid of my reaction.

"Well I might as well tell you from the beginning my story." I took a couple of deep breathes before I began.

"My father abandoned me when I was five years old. He left me with my crazed mother who thinks I should die to save her the trouble of dealing with me. After he left I was heart broken. My own father one of the people that should have been there in my life was missing and I don't mean temporarily I mean he never came back. He was like my wonder wall my support system for those 5 years. After that I was so lonely so cold towards other people. They always figured that something was always wrong with me but never said it to my face. I let them have there way and then go on my merry way. But today is his birthday. One of the days that I now resent because not only does another year go by that I don't see him, but it's another year I don't get a hug or a kiss from him. Another fathers day where I have no one to send a card to that will appreciate it. Another Christmas without a present from his. Another day that I get older and he doesn't even know what I look like. Another day filled with reminders of him……. Another nightmare with him not there to comfort me when I wake up."

I paused to let a sob out before I continued. "You wouldn't know. You wouldn't understand all of that pain. Wouldn't you? All of those years where your birthday wishes were wasted on something so stupid as to him coming back. All of the promises that he never kept that y-you were reminded of every day. All the times when you needed him and he wasn't there to comfort you to hold you while you cry… you never had to live with yourself knowing you're the reason that he left in the first place…" By now I was sobbing out of control yet again. And like the last time I let Edward comfort me. Like he never did. Like he never got to. I thought to myself that he is the one missing out on my life. He is the one that should be so unhappy. He should cry himself to sleep almost every night. But no I am because I don't see it like that I'm to blind to see it like that.


	6. Chapter 6 After Math

Letting Edward comfort me, letting him hold me felt like heaven. The way I molded into his body was like a missing piece to a puzzle that you searched for all day. And even minutes after being quiet he still held me. As if I would crack at any time and start crying again.

"Thank you." I said after I wiped away all of my tears.

I looked into his eyes, and only saw love and a hint of confusion in them. He bent down lower, our lips only centimeters apart. All it would take would be me to move my head up a little bit more and we would kiss. Thinking about what I would have to loose, and knowing that I had nothing. I kissed him. Kissing Edward is like loosing yourself to a drug. You become addicted to it. It will be hard to stop. And you may never want to.

Once we broke apart we looked at each other. I think that we were waiting for the moment to stop. But this moment and this part of my life would be in my mind forever. One more kiss and we sat down to talk more about my life.

This time we sat on the sofa. The sofa that me and him would cuddle together and watch Disney movies. Before we started to speak I went to the TV and opened the doors underneath the entertainment center. There in the exact order I left them in were my movies. Every movie that I had ever gotten from him and his family was rite there for me to see. I left the door open and came to sit beside him again. Knowing that his arms were around me and that I was safe was a better comfort. It made it easier to handle the house. All of the things inside it, and the reminder that he was here.

"Why did you do that?" he asked me.

"Because I used to watch these with him."

"But why didn't you close the cabinet?"

"Because I wanted to relive some memories, any more questions?"

"Yes."

"Go on."

"Why do you hate him so much?"

"Because he wasn't there for me when I needed him to. Be wasn't there to show me that he loved me. That I was wanted. And that made me resent him in one of the worst ways."

"But yet you still think about him everyday. You mourn your past life. You remembered everything good and bad that he's done for you, and you still love him. But you can't let yourself love him can you?"

I nodded. I only thought of what he was saying at the moment. Because all of it was true. I only thought about my father, he was the only thing on my mind at all time. I went from loving him to hating him. But I could never fully hate him, as well as fully love either. I knew him in past life but never in future life.

We spent the most of the day talking about my life and what happened to make me who I am. I explained how I was affected and who I cooped with it all. I let him read all of the letters and I shared my story that accompanied each of them. I shed more tears. And he always wiped them away. In the end I said the last thing that I wanted him to know before we left the house. I thought that he had a rite to know what I wanted of my father.

"All of my actions were brought up from him. All of the tearful nights were his doing. Because he wasn't just my father. He was what I wished was my best friend. That's all I ever wanted him to be. And that's what wished for him. That's what I didn't get. The one thing I always wanted besides him everyday all day was to have him as my best friend."

We walked towards his car because I didn't have enough time to get in my truck. After calling my mother to tell her that I was spending the night with Alice. We drove to the Cullen's house.

As we got to the house I saw Alice standing there. Just like she knew that we were going to stop there. We didn't. Edward wanted to tease her a little so he drove past that excited face of hers. Once we got into the garage and closed to door. Edward came around to my side. After opening my door and taking me out, he asked about us.

"What about us."

"I wanted to know whether or not we are going out."

The truth was that I didn't know what to make of what he just spoke. I didn't think that Edward would actually like to go out with me. But I agreed to it all. Whatever was to come out of this would be good I hoped.

That night I fell asleep in Edwards' bed in his arms. And that night I had no dreams. I didn't wake up crying in the middle of the night. I slept for what felt like years.

**A/N:**

**Now everyone say it together. AWWW. They kissed and fell asleep together. Well I will post a new chapter soon enjoy.**


	7. Chapter 7 waking up

Waking up from that night was hard. I thought that I would never be able to sleep like that again. I tried to turn around, but I came face to face with Edwards's chest. I opened my eyes wide. The shock was written so plainly on my face that I was afraid that he would see it. I slightly tilted my head to look up at him. And inside my head I sighed, he was still sleeping. I carefully took his arm from around my waist, and walked out the room. I could smell the sweet smell of coffee from all the way up here. I walked down the stairs towards my destination, the kitchen. As I entered it I saw Alice come at me like a lightning bolt.

"Good morning Bella." She said way too cheerily for the morning.

"To tiered to smile Alice." I mumbled as I made my way to the coffee pot.

I jumped a little when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. "Hello sweetheart. How did you sleep?" he asked sleepily as he grabbed a cup for himself. "Good. You?" I asked wanting to know his reaction. "I slept incredibly well, so well I think I haven't felt so good." That statement made me break into a smile for I felt almost the same exact way.

After that recent conversation that we had, Alice took it upon herself to dress me up for the day. Even my tries to tell her that I needed to call my mother fell into deaf ears, she already called her. Alice's room to say the least was bigger that my room times two. And her closet made me cringe in fear. There was tons of clothing that cost more than I was willing to think of.

"So how do you like it?" she asked.

"Alice it's so huge and open and your closet makes me want to run in fear." I mumbled quickly.

"Oh no silly those clothes aren't for you." I sighed in relief "These are for you." She said as she opened up a small wardrobe full of very comfortable outfits. "Oh Alice I thought you were going to put me in something that I wouldn't be comfortable in." We laughed at the sound of my voice. "Don't be silly Bella; I wouldn't give you something I wouldn't be comfortable in." Then she pulled out this really cute pair of jeans and tank top that was blue. After spending about an hour getting ready we finally made it down stairs. My hair which Alice curled lightly bounced as we made our way down.

Soon I realized that we had made no plans to go anywhere. Yet we were dressed up like we were. "Alice what are we going to do today?" I asked. "We my dear Bella are going to the amusement park." I stopped dead in my tracks. The last time I was in an amusement park I was with him. Even to think about him made my heart hurt a little. But I decided that I was going to do this for Edward. I was going to promise myself that for Edward I would get better.

The ride to the amusement park wasn't as bad as actually getting there. The hundreds of people that were in line for rides, food, and tickets made me a little scared. Edward pulled me close and whispered in my ear, "I won't let you out of my sight for even a moment." We mostly walked around until I found the Ferris wheel. When I was little I always loved them. Edward came with me because that would be like breaking the promise that he made me when we first got here. The evening was settling in and twilight was soon upon us as we got to the top. As we watched the last few moments of the sunset we leaned closer to each other. And we kissed, as the stars came into view when the sun was gone. And I knew that we both enjoyed it.

Just like good dreams, good things have to end to. Our ride was done and we were headed home with a very excited Alice in the car telling us about this man she meets there.

"His eyes were so blue that I felt I could go swimming in them. And that accent that he has makes me want to drop dead. His body feels nice to especially when……"

I tuned her out. Like I always do people when I don't want to hear anything about certain subjects. As we came back to Edwards's house I noticed that it was 11:30 at night. Were did all the day go. I quickly went into Edward's room and changed into pajamas. Al to soon there was a knock on the door and it was Alice. "Were having a movie night down stairs would you like to come and watch movies with us?" After I told her yes we headed down. Alice put on Dirty Dancing which I never seemed to see before. It was just before the big end that I fell asleep.

The next morning that I woke up I was still in the same position as yesterday morning. But today I wanted to wake him up. I kissed up and down his bare chest until he moaned; I stopped to look at his face which was smug and looking straight at me. "I think someone was bored this morning." He said attacking me a rolling us over so that he was on top of my. He was kissing down my neck and as he got right to my ear he bit it. I moaned his name, and he got up. "Now we are even you got me and I got you back." We walked down stairs hand in hand ready to face the day.


End file.
